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Due to some underaged readers, I've friends locked all of my stories and fan art as of July 6th, 2006.

Please comment to be added.
So, for those of you who are interested, I am finally on the tranplant list! After a week of testing at the Mayo Clinic, we now know that other than kidney failure, there's not a damned thing wrong with me.

The next step is to get one of my two cousins who've volunteered tested. Keep your fingers crossed that 1) they're still willing to donate a kidney and 2) at least one of them is a match.

If everything goes well, the doctors at Mayo said it could happen by March. That would be a wonderful birthday present, I think.
Tropical Storm Fay (who might be a hurricane by tomorrow) wants to visit DisneyWorld, so it looks as though it's going to be a little bit rough around here.

We've stocked up on everything we need, mostly. I'll stop by the grocery store tonight to pick up the few last-minute things. I'm going to meet Hubby at Home Depot at lunch to decide if we want to buy a generator. We were without electricity an average of two days per hurricane in 2004 (three different storms) and it was miserably hot. I want to be able to run our window AC unit to keep cool, plus the refrigerator.

One good thing about these storms is we were forced to slow down our lives. No computers, no TV, no running around to various events. We played cards and board games until even the kids were sick of them, but we really had a good time.

Wish us luck!


I'm headed for the Mayo Clinic!!!!!

October 6th, at 8:15 A.M., I'm scheduled to be at the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, FL to begin the testing for my transplant.

I'm a little bit excited.

I've been frustrated about Florida Hospital rejecting my application for a transplant because I was 7 pounds over their limit (and 17 pounds over their limit for surgery), so last Wednesday I emailed the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville to find out their requirements.

Turns out I could have been on their list MONTHS ago, but I'm not letting that bother me now, because...

Last Friday, the dialysis center mailed out the application to the Mayo Clinic. Finally!

Now the evaluation process begins. I'll have to have a mammogram, a dental check, possibly a colonoscopy and an exam by a cardiologist to make certain I'm healthy enough to handle the surgery. Once I'm cleared, then the center will begin the evaluation of cousins to find out if they're compatible.

Of course, the ironic part of this whole situation is that I've now lost enough weight to apply to the transplant center right here in town. The social worker talked me into applying there as well, so I now have twice the chance of getting a kidney.

Keep your fingers crossed for me!

I get so caught up in the daily struggles of my illness - diet, feeling sick after dialysis, exhaustion - that I sometimes forget the reasons I'm bothering to go through with the treatment.

I'm going to try to remember every day at least one reason I get up in the morning.

Today's reason:

Two teenaged sons who let their mother hug and kiss them (even in public!), and even hug and kiss her back.
 It's a drabble, but it's SOMETHING!

Title: The Last Goodbye

Author: Sterling Dragonfly

Pairing: Brian/Justin

Rating: G

Disclaimer: The wonderful folks of QAF don't belong to me; if they did, I'd be SO happy!!!


He hates goodbyes, Brian thinks as he gives one last, loving caress down sleek curves before walking away. He refuses to look back, afraid of the likelihood he'd change his mind. He squares his shoulders, takes a deep breath and heads quickly out of the door.


Justin watches Brian with fond exasperation. Brian has always accused him of being a drama queen, but Brian's flair for theatrics beats his any day of the week. Justin shakes his head and follows Brian outside.


The two grinning lovers drive away in Brian's new Porsche, leaving the Corvette behind at the car lot.

I wanted to say THANKS to everyone who's wished me a happy birthday. mdlaw's picture  http://mdlaw.livejournal.com/13289.html?view=11241#t11241 of the dragonfly cake is great!

I've tried - really tried - to write some on my stories, but every time I open a document, I end up staring at the blinking cursor and get nothing.

It's very frustrating how this illness has completely sapped my life away from me. I work, go to dialysis and sleep. My kids aren't sure who I am. I've been a horrible friend.

I want my life back.


It's been five months since my kidneys failed - five highly stress-filled months. I've had to learn to accept the fact that my life's changed radically and it will never be the same as it was before I became ill.

One thing I've struggled with is the idea of a transplant. During the first few months after the failure, I had four people (my father, brother, husband and husband's aunt) volunteer to be tested to see if they were a match. Unfortunately, all of them have different blood types, so they were no-gos.

Because I'm not close to the rest of my extended family, I then realized my only realistic hope of a kidney would be from a cadaver - and I'm really not all right with that. I've joked to my husband (although I'm not really sure it is a joke) that if I get a transplant as a result of somebody's death, I'll need therapy. Extensive therapy.

A transplant would make my life so much better - no more 15 hours per week at the dialysis center. No more constant nausea. No more exhaustion and spending ten/twelve hours a day in bed on the weekends. No more blood infections and blood transfusions.

I'd be able to work full-time again. Play with my kids without dropping out because I don't feel good. Eat chocolate.

And yet, the idea of wanting a kidney means that in a way, I'm wanting someone to die. And that just makes me feel evil.

My hubby has a more pragmatic opinion. It's his belief that people are going to die anyway, so it's a gift that will benefit me and should be accepted without concern. And yes, I understand his point of view, but I'm still struggling with the whole situation.

However, there is a bright spot, which I hope will turn out. Two of my first cousins have volunteered to be tested and I'm really hoping one of them will be a match, because I'm completely all right with the idea of a live donor. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

I talked to the social worker at the dialysis clinic yesterday about being eligible for a kidney transplant and was finally given a goal weight to be eligible.

I only have 55 pounds to lose - much less than I originally thought. I can do this, hopefully in six months or so.

Wish me luck!
Here's a rather interesting link to a website about the catacombs of Palermo, Italy.  The site has photos of various corpses in the catacombs, including one extremely well-preserved mummy of a five-year old girl named Rosalia Lombardo.

All right, I'm bored. Anyone want to recommend a really, really good fanfic for me? Possibly something new in the past few months?

QAF (B&J only), Smallville (Clex), Harry Potter (Snarry) or Stargate Atlantis (McShep) are the fandoms I'm into.

Please, only happy endings - my life's been emotional enough lately without any additional angst.

Thanks oodles!!!!!!

First of all, many, MANY thanks to everyone's good wishes about my health as well as to the anonymous gifter of virtual roses. I really appreciate it.

Good news - I'm back to work finally. Yesterday was my second day back, and boy, I was one tired puppy. I'd gotten used to afternoon naps whenever I felt like it and oddly enough, my boss kinda frowns on that sort of thing. Sigh.

I still have very little kidney function, but everyone keeps telling me to be patient. According to them, acute kidney failure (which I'm technically diagnosed as) can take months to reverse and there's still definite hope my kidneys will begin working again.

Oddly enough, it's not the kidney failure that gets to me, or even the diabetes (although I am NOT thrilled with having to prick my finger for blood four times a day!), but it's the little things like NO CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or not being allowed a shower because the catheter in my chest can't get wet. Let me tell you, sponge baths and washing your hair in the sink gets really OLD after five weeks!

A lot of good things are happening around here as well.

We bought a house in May (our first - very nerve-wracking!) and have been very busy redecorating. Hubby has finished installing wood flooring in the three bedrooms and is about to start on the living/dining room area. I can't wait to get the horrible burgundy shag carpet up and gone. He then gets to replace the tacky yellow linoleum in the kitchen with some beautiful grayish-green shale tile.

THE GREAT ESCAPE - Hubby painted the front door to the house on Saturday while I was at dialysis. When I got home, I was too tired to cook, so we decided to go out to eat. As we left the house, hubby kept yelling at us not to mess with the front door, to go out through the garage and that he'd take care of the door before we left.

Several hours later, we drove up into the driveway and low and behold, at least SIX of our cats were sprawled out on the concrete around the front sidewalk. Fortunately, when they saw me walking up the walkway, they all ran back into the WIDE OPEN FRONT DOOR THAT HUBBY SAID HE'D TAKEN CARE OF! None of the eleven were lost, however, so hubby was allowed that night to sleep on the couch instead of a cardboard box on the curb.
Have a happy Halloween!

On August 18th, I went into the hospital thinking I had pneumonia.

On August 31st, I was finally released from Critical Care (14 days) and allowed to go home. It turned out I had developed a disease called Goodpasture's Syndrome. One in a million people get this disease, and to make odds even more astronomical, it affects six times more men than women. Lucky me - I should have bought a lottery ticket instead!

I came home with:
  • almost complete kidney failure
  • drug induced diabetes
I am now on dialysis and am trying to lose enough weight to be eligible for a kidney transplant.


Hug your loved ones, because you never know what will happen from one day to the next.


Please support your local Kidney Foundation.
A dear friend died from a heart attack at the age of 44, leaving behind a wife and three children under the age of sixteen.

And yet, my mother-in-law continues to live and breathe, thus proving two cliches:

Life isn't fair.


Only the good die young.

On a much more cheerful note, I'm going to be in New York City September 12-16, if anyone wants to get together for coffee.

Presents for my flist.



My brother and sister-in-law moved to Anchorage, Alaska four years ago. Ever since then, both they and my dad and step mom have been bugging me to visit. However, whenever I've checked into plane tickets for a family of four, prices have run anywhere from $2500 to $3200. This is more than I normally spend on TWO vacations, and it doesn't even include hotels, car rental or sightseeing.

Needless to say, we haven't been up to see them yet.

At 7 p.m. last night, dad was talking to my brother.

At 7:30 p.m. last night, dad called me and informed me he'd bought our plane tickets for us. (He and my step mom are not going, however.)

At 8: 15 p.m. last night, my brother called. He'd already booked a whale-watching cruise and a weekend of camping in Denali National Park.

It looks as though we're going to Alaska from May 26th to June 4th.

Does anyone have any ideas for Christmas presents for a 15 year old girl? I haven't got a clue, other than the fact she's too old for Barbies.


These were done for icons100. My subject is Lex Luthor.


Resources located on my info page.
NO Hotlinking, please!

Prompt TableCollapse )
These were done for icons100. My subject is Lex Luthor.


Resources located on my info page.
NO Hotlinking, please!

Prompt TableCollapse )
I read a LOT of fanfiction and I also write a bit.

As a reader, I've noticed that not every writer feels a need to respond to their comments. Often, it seems that the 'bigger' the name in fandom, the more likely it is that they don't answer. (And no, this isn't referring to any one particular fandom - I read and comment in many different ones.)

ETA: One of reasons I'm curious about this is that several months ago, I read a post on a 'big' name writer's LJ where he/she stated that posting fiction is a 'gift' to the readers, and responses aren't necessary since you don't say thanks for a thank you. I don't feel this way; I write because I love it. The readers 'gift' me by reading and commenting.

As an author, I love each and every comment I get. I try to answer all of them, even if it's only with a 'thanks for reading.' I know I miss some, but I do try.

Anyway, I'm curious to see how people feel about this, so I created a poll.

As a WRITER, do you feel you "owe" the people who comment an answer, even if it's just a thank you for reading?

Yes, it's only good manners.
No, it's not necessary.
I only respond to those comments that are more than 'OMG, this is great.'
I only respond to those people that I know.
Other. (Please explain.)

As a READER, do you expect an author to respond to your comments?

Yes, it's nice to know that the author appreciates the comment.
No, it's not necessary.
I don't comment; I just lurk.
Other. (Please explain.)